The Incredible Story of Joe Bloggs, So Far
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This song is a cinematic, mid-tempo swamp-blues epic that rides like a slow freight train through one man’s entire life — from childhood innocence to adult mistakes and hard-won self-awareness. With dirty harmonica lines, a grinding groove, and dramatic stops and starts that mirror the story’s emotional turns, it unfolds as a cautionary tale about desire, distraction, and the cost of losing what really matters.
The moment where the band nearly stalls as his wife leaves is devastating, before the rhythm surges back into a relentless, hypnotic finale built around the aching refrain of the title.
Gritty, humorous, tragic, and deeply human, the track feels like a modern blues novel in song form — a powerful, character-driven piece with huge live impact and strong appeal for an artist looking to tell real stories with weight, groove, and soul.
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Album track
About this song
- Released
- 2026-02-08
- ISRC / SKU
- AU-K4L-23-00061
- Appears on
- Manifesto
Read lyrics
When I was eight years old
I played with plastic soldiers
Mother said don't son it's not nice
Then when I turned ten
I discovered skateboards
The soldiers took a back seat for the ride
Then adolescence came
And suddenly I changed
And I discovered girls were much more fun
Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Then I couldn't wait 'til I turned seventeen
So I could buy a car and join the scene
And everything went so fast
It was late December
Another year gone another passed
And for my twenty first
I had a mighty thirst
Some friends came round
I thought it would be fun
Yeah we all got smashed
And one of my friends crashed
His funeral was on June 21 (too young)
Then at twenty four
I went lookin' for some answers
Mother said you can't change what can't be changed
And eight years further on
All the answers were the same
Acceptance sort of came to ease the pain
So I was just a man in a sardine can
Who'd like to settle down and start a life
She was twenty nine and runnin' out of time
A voice said I pronounce you man and wife
Then at forty five it seems I hit the big time
Distinguished and respected in my field
But the hours were so long
They said you should not be alone
Someone to fix a drink and bring a meal
But she was half my age and straight out of a page
Of Playboy magazine I dropped my jaw
And the vodka’s were so strong
And her legs were so long
I had to have her right there on the floor
Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh
So the wife found out and she moved out
To northern New South Wales
The place we always said we’d move together
Now the single bars and takeaways
Have shown to me a loser
Because of this god-dammed horse I couldn’t tether
And don't think you're immune
For it could happen soon
Then you'll find out how weak or strong you are
I know it sounds absurd
But what you have just heard
Is the incredible story of Joe Bloggs, so far
The incredible story of Joe Bloggs so far
Yes the incredible story of Joe Bloggs, so far
Watch out man, if it can happen to me it can happen to you
I played with plastic soldiers
Mother said don't son it's not nice
Then when I turned ten
I discovered skateboards
The soldiers took a back seat for the ride
Then adolescence came
And suddenly I changed
And I discovered girls were much more fun
Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Then I couldn't wait 'til I turned seventeen
So I could buy a car and join the scene
And everything went so fast
It was late December
Another year gone another passed
And for my twenty first
I had a mighty thirst
Some friends came round
I thought it would be fun
Yeah we all got smashed
And one of my friends crashed
His funeral was on June 21 (too young)
Then at twenty four
I went lookin' for some answers
Mother said you can't change what can't be changed
And eight years further on
All the answers were the same
Acceptance sort of came to ease the pain
So I was just a man in a sardine can
Who'd like to settle down and start a life
She was twenty nine and runnin' out of time
A voice said I pronounce you man and wife
Then at forty five it seems I hit the big time
Distinguished and respected in my field
But the hours were so long
They said you should not be alone
Someone to fix a drink and bring a meal
But she was half my age and straight out of a page
Of Playboy magazine I dropped my jaw
And the vodka’s were so strong
And her legs were so long
I had to have her right there on the floor
Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh
So the wife found out and she moved out
To northern New South Wales
The place we always said we’d move together
Now the single bars and takeaways
Have shown to me a loser
Because of this god-dammed horse I couldn’t tether
And don't think you're immune
For it could happen soon
Then you'll find out how weak or strong you are
I know it sounds absurd
But what you have just heard
Is the incredible story of Joe Bloggs, so far
The incredible story of Joe Bloggs so far
Yes the incredible story of Joe Bloggs, so far
Watch out man, if it can happen to me it can happen to you